Maybe despite everything we can finally just be
by LeaveItByTheDoor
Summary: A continuation of the story after the series four finale. Teslen. K for now but may go up as I write more. Obviously focusing on Helen and Nikola but other characters will start to appear as the story moved along. on hiatus.
1. Prologue

A/N: This is a teaser chapter for a new multi-chapter fic I am thinking of writing. It is obviously takes place at the end of the series four finale and will be a continuation of the story. The characterisation will probably be slightly off because it has been a while since I last watched Sanctuary . This fic will also probably include the scene I did in 'After he thought everything was lost' –just forewarning you there! I don't really have must planned out so if anyone has any ideas for something that might happen please feel free to share.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sanctuary or any of the characters just borrowing them.**

He, Nikola Tesla, had watched as the building went up in flames, watched as the sanctuary burned to the ground, watched as firefighters converged finally succeeding in extinguishing the fire. All he had done was watch and now it was gone. It was _all_ gone. Helen had still been in there. _He_ had left her there. Regret was filling him, taking over him, drowning him. She couldn't be gone. She _could not_ be gone. He had to find her.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**A/N: I apologise for not having this up last night, I was out and didn't get back until late. I don't know when I will be uploading the next chapter as I have a deadline coming up so I am really busy at the moment. I will try to get it up as soon as possible though and hopefully soon I will be able to start making regular uploads. **

**Disclaimer: As always I do not own Sanctuary or any of the characters just borrowing them.**

Nikola looked around for the right place to start his search, where he had left her right before the explosion. All he could see was rubble and even though he thought it must be a good thing that there were no severed limbs on display he couldn't stop the feeling of despair weigh him down further as he saw no signs of life. Unable to push them away, unwanted visions of Helen's body, mutilated and burnt filled his head. Why did he leave her?

The thought continued to haunt him as he completed his search through the rubble which was slow and tiresome but Nikola remained determined not to stop until he found some evidence of her. _Evidence_, what did he expect to find? He knew what he wanted to find, her, her body, living, breathing, _undamaged_. Helen. The way she was _before _he left her.

Hours later Nikola finally accepted that he wasn't going to find anything. What did that mean? Surely if she had been caught in the blast there would be some proof of it, some form of remains even if they weren't identifiable. No, the fire must have destroyed them completely. There was no way around it; she couldn't have escaped, Helen couldn't be alive.

Time seemed to be passing slowly or rather everything seemed to be in slow motion. Nikola sat at the bar in his apartment building cradling an empty glass. Alcohol wouldn't help; it didn't affect him, he couldn't use it as a way to escape it would only be a waste of good wine to drink in his grief. He felt as empty as the glass. He could not, would not think about Helen but it seemed like every memory he had included her. It was best just to keep his mind blank and grief at bay.

"Are you all right sir?" he jumped at the question, forgetting that he was in fact not alone, "'only you've been sat there for hours, we're closing up." He turned slightly and stared at the waitress with a vacant expression, after a minute with only this response the woman left to finish cleaning the tables. The bar staff eventually gave up on trying to get him to leave and signed off. Nikola was once more alone with little to distract him from the numbness he was now feeling. It was like something was feeding off his emotions leaving him with nothing, even pain would have been better.

The sun was dawning again by the time he made it to his room. He moved to the window where he stayed looking out until he could no longer bear the thought that Helen would never look out this window, she would never be able to appreciate this view and he thought that without her he would no longer be able to appreciate it either. Nikola finally turned away from the window so that he was directly facing the front door. He frowned slightly as he saw what looked like an envelope on the floor there as if it had been pushed under. He moved to pick it up. Only one word was written on the envelope, his name, _Nikola._ He felt his stomach summersault as he traced his finger over the all too familiar handwriting. His hand shook as he opened the letter and read.

_Nikola please meet me at the gate to the old Sanctuary tonight at 10pm. There is something I need to show you, things I need to explain and I think it would be better to do it in person. Make sure you are there. Tonight. 10pm. _

_Helen _


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**A/N:** **I will get the next chapter up as soon as possible though I have no idea when that will be because I am super busy at the moment and hopefully soon I will be able to start making regular uploads. Hope you enjoy this chapter although it is only really a filler.**

**Disclaimer: As always I do not own Sanctuary or any of the characters just borrowing them.**

Unable to wait any longer Nikola decided to make his way to the remains of the Sanctuary. He would still be nearly half an hour early but he had taken to continuously pacing the room and it was only succeeding in making him more agitated. Questions had been racing through his head since the note had arrived. Was Helen really alive? If so then how did she survive? What did she want to show him? Where was she living now that her home, the Sanctuary had been destroyed? These were the questions he hoped to have answered tonight.

Nikola made it to the meeting point with 27 minutes to spare. He hid in the shadows by the gate to avoid being seen; there were people – no doubt from the government – carrying clipboards poking around in the rubble. He watched them as he waited. Every now and then one of them would shout out as though they'd found something, he was curious as to what they were looking for. Normally he would not have questioned it but what did they expect to find in these ruins, Nikola knew from his search the previous day that nothing had survived the fire following the explosion. He could see, now that his eyes were not clouded with grief and desperation that his actions the previous day had been pointless, even if Helen had been still in the remains any evidence of her would have been destroyed beyond recognition. Impatiently Nikola checked his watch, only 3 more minutes. It surprised him how long he had been watching these people.

He stiffened slightly as he heard the quiet sound of familiar footfall from behind. When had he memorised the sound of her walk? He didn't know what to do, how to act. He had thought she was dead, had still, somewhere deep down, believed her to be dead until now. Until he had seen proof with his own eyes the she was alive: living, breathing, _alive_.

Helen was stood in front of him now; close enough that even in the darkness he could make out most of her features, filling in what was in shadow from memory. It seemed as though he had memorised that at some point too.

"Helen?" Why did it sound so much like a question? She was here, really here, right in front of him. They both stood in silence for a minute or so, Helen watching the government people and Nikola watching Helen. Eventually she turned to him with a sigh and smiled, "I have something to show you."

"Yeah, it said… in the note." He wasn't acting like himself, they both knew it. Helen seemed to be ignoring his odd behaviour; in fact she acted like he hadn't said anything at all. Nikola shifted uncomfortably. Something else out of character, he was never uncomfortable.

"I will wait until we get there to tell you the full story. It won't take long to get there."

"Where are we going? What are you showing me?"

"It's hard to explain and anyway anyone could listen out here. You'll find out soon enough." Helen looked back towards the Sanctuary remains, once more watching the searchers.

"Do you know what they are looking for?" So far he had not gained much from the questions he had asked, just a kind of paranoia which caused him to constantly check whether they were being watched but Nikola knew well enough that if the kept probing he would ultimately ask the right question and be rewarded with an answer. He had a feeling that whatever they were searching for must be important if they were continuing to look into night.

"I have an idea but nothing solid. We will have to find out though; I doubt they can be trusted."

"Government?"

"Who else." Neither of them trusted government employees, not after everything that had happened, not with everything they knew. Helen suddenly turned and walked away, "Come on. We have things to do."

A/N: Sorry about the rubbish ending of this chapter. I changed it so from how I was originally going to write it so I could upload it and it fitted better with the sort of plot I've started to work towards. 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**A/N: Small change to what it was before just the very bottom bit. I either didn't save it properly or deleted the ending then didn't rewrite it as it should have had an ending similar to what is there now although it was not the same. **

**Disclaimer: As always I do not own Sanctuary or any of the characters just borrowing them.**

He hurried after her not wanting to let her out of his sight for fear of her disappearing; to say he wasn't coping well would be an understatement. They walked in unusually uncomfortable silence - Nikola watching her whole time but Helen never looked his way - to the entrance to an underground passage disguised as a grid at the far end of a generally unused alleyway that could be pushed open if you knew how to reveal a ladder leading about 20ft below ground. A short walk through the dark passage brought them to a train like carriage brightly lit in contrast to the tunnel. Helen swiped what looked like an ID card in a slot in the door which opened and they stepped in. A button press later the carriage was speeding along the track.

"Are you going to talk now?"

"Not yet."

"How about you at least look at me?" Nikola was unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He felt immature and needy but couldn't help the desperation building inside him, the desperation for her to look at him, to talk to him, to explain.

"We'll be there soon." There was no conversation for the rest of the journey, both occupant of the carriage looking out the expansive front window; Nikola wondering what he was going to find when they got to their destination, Helen wondering how he was going to react to what she had to say. She had to admit she wasn't hopeful; he had –from her perspective- reacted badly, his behaviour out of character and confusing to the woman who knew him so well.

The light at the end of the tunnel had turned from the bright artificial glow of the lamps lining the tunnel every few feet to something more natural even though the tracks had taken them steadily deeper into the ground. Light washed over them as they reached the opening of the tunnel. Nikola stepped forward in spite of himself to get a good look at the underground civilisation that came into view, it was an unbelievable sight. He was unable to tear his gaze from the river or expanse of greenery which made him temporarily forget they were about a mile below ground but did not manage to manage to divert his strong need for immediate answers.

A short walk from the station where the carriage had stopped took them to Helen's office. They walked in silence their footsteps in sync. A quick look around told Nikola it was similar to her old office but he felt no desire to explore yet. He turned to her expectantly, "Well…"


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: If anyone read chapter 3 before this was uploaded there is a change to the ending you should check out.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sanctuary or any of the characters just borrowing them. **

"Okay, but this is going to take a while. Let me get a cup of tea first. Want anything?" It was a testament to Nikola's desire for answers that he just shook his head. Five minutes later the pair was sat on the sofa, Helen clutching the mug in her hands as though it were a lifeline. Under normal circumstances Helen knew he would have made a comment about her tea drinking habits.

"Go on," he was growing impatient and it was beginning to seem as though she was stalling for time. With a final heavy sigh Helen began to explain, "It was all part of the plan; everyone needs to think I'm dead. People just are not ready for the truth, sometimes I wonder if they ever will be. But, you see, that doesn't matter now. I had a lot of time on my hands while I was reliving the last century. I had to stay out of the way but I managed to get all this done. Anyway I came up with a way to wipe the slate clean so to say, a plan that would allow us all to go underground, I let the Sanctuary burn." Nikola looks appalled at the casual way she spoke about all that had happened.

"That was your life, gone up in flames."

"That was an old life Nikola." Her voice was calm yet final but not like the topic was no longer up for discussion but rather that nothing he could say would change where she stood, how she felt. She had made peace with it long ago. "I've had time to come to terms with this, time to think it over, even to change my mind but I accept this had to happen. You need to too."

Could he accept this? That the person in front of him was really her, the Helen Magnus, that she had been living a life without him in it, that perhaps she had changed. Change; was that what he was afraid of? No. There had to be something more. Nikola forced himself to make eye contact with her for the first time since he initiated the conversation. Her eyes that somehow managed to look exactly the same yet so different. Eyes he could get lost in.

He jumped slightly when she spoke again, "Listen to me. This is the Sanctuary now. This is my home – has been for a while now – it could be your home to. What's this really about? You hardly spent any time there, you hardly loved the place."

"I thought you were dead," the words came out choked; "I thought I'd lost you." He looked down again ashamed he, Nikola Tesla, was admitting something that could be considered a weakness.

"Is that why you've been acting so strangely? That you thought I was dead." When he didn't reply she hooked her index finger under his chin tilting his head up, forcing him to look at her. Their eyes met and for a moment she looked like she was searching for something. Her voice softened as she spoke, "I would never leave you."

He tried to look away again, refusing to look her in the eye, "_Iloveyou_," taking a deep breath he forced his eyes to her own wide ones he repeated his words more slowly "I love you."

To both of their surprise a tear escapes Helen's eye and made its way down her left cheek. "I love you too Nikola." She wouldn't have been able to lie if she had wanted to. Helen had discovered how much she loved him while she suffered a lifetime without him; sure she had occupied herself, enjoyed what she did but Nikola was the thing she had missed most. The way he spoke those forbidden three words with such sincerity had unleashed the built up raw emotion that had been threatening to overcome her. More tears streamed down her face as Helen cupped his with her hands drawing him closer into the soft sweet kiss of fragile souls. The heat both had imaged in their countless fantasies about this moment was missing but a hidden passion still burned below the surface. They pulled away staring at each other. A smile graced Nikola's face as he brought up his hand to wipe away her tears.

"Whenever I imaged this moment I never thought it would be so wet," a small laugh escaped Helen's lips causing Nikola's grin to widen. "We were usually ripping each other's clothing off pretty quickly too." His tone was suggestive but some form of unspoken communication that passed between them told her he was joking, Helen slapped his arm playfully.

"I would have expected nothing less, seriously Nikola your incorrigible."

"I try to be an unpredictable constant in your life." A shadow of what she thought was anger passed over his face, she knew something was still bothering him.

"What's wrong?" Helen nudged him gently, pressing the side of her body into his, "come on, tell me."

"Tell me about what you did during this extra century? Tell me about all the years I know nothing about?"

"Okay but first tell me what's bothering you"

"It's just like you said it was a lot of time, you must have been with people and how do you even know you really feel that way about me, it's been such a long time for you since you've seen me properly-"

"Sssshhhhh," Helen placed a finger over his lips in order to get him to be quiet, her voice had softened again when she spoke, "Stop okay, just stop. I knowI want to be with you, I _know _I love you. This has been a long time coming and we both know it. I may have emphasised how much time has passed but listen to me when I say it doesn't matter because I also know you. So yes I will tell you about my lost years but right now maybe we should work on the other part of that fantasy of yours." She placed another light kiss on his lips before standing and taking his hand in her and leading him out if the office to her bedroom down next door, closing the door with a smirk. This really had been a long time coming.


End file.
